Nebulous Nerd

Maybe late, but I definitely won't let the opportunity to discuss the hottest topic around go by! Woolmer's death, Inzi's retirement and resignation of chairman and the selection committee of PCB! Pakistan Cricket is certainly going through the toughest times it has ever faced and it has been the case since the Oval Controversy – it would only be more suited if you call it the curse of Darrell Hair!! The ex-elite umpire must’ve caste some dark magic on the poor folks!

First there are these allegations of ball tampering placed by umpire Darrell Hair who shortly called the match as a forfeit by PakistanEngland! The charges were proved false and grumpy, racist Hair got stripped off his status as an elite panel umpire of ICC. He might have got loads of criticism in the subcontinent but the Australians backed him as if he were a hero. The ICC also maintained almost a neutral stance on the issue eventually commenting quite diplomatically. Hair went away but the miseries of Team Pakistan were to begin from here! As a result of the forfeiture of the match, Inzamam was banned for a few matches resulting in another new issue – who’ll be the captain! Showing their team spirit the whole team and the management fell into chaos just before the start of the Champ’s Trophy! Younus Khan gave his resignation blaming the then chairman Shehryar Khan for mishandling issues. Shehryar had earlier made Mohammad Yousuf the team’s captain. Disgruntled, Shahryar Khan resigned. Naseem Ashraf was made the new chairman who asked Younus Khan to take his resignation back and made him the captain! After three days of frenzy and chaos, the team was ready (or was it?). But as it turned out our team had to bear an early knock-out! in favor of

To add insult to injury and to further create a sense of tension, Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Asif were pulled out of the squad just before the start of the tournament after PCB tested them positive for banned substances!

The misery didn’t end here… Waqar Younus – the bowling coach – and a couple players went for the Hajj. After his arrival, the media received yet another news from the meida hype-station (aka Team Pakistan)! Waqar Younus was sacked and for no reason at all! Geo TV – which never lets any opportunity to make a fuss of every small issue – actually arranged a series of programs that lasted for nearly a week discussing the ‘oh-so-controversial’ issue with live calls and guests who had just about anything to do with Pakistan Cricket.

The drama doesn’t end here – meanwhile, Shoaib and Asif get a ban of 2 and 1 year respectively for taking banned substances. ICC and WADA are happy. But PCB doesn’t want that to happen, do they? So they think: ‘Hey, why not call up another trial and clear them – just to add more to the drama!’ The next thing you know is Shoaib and Asif’s appeal being upheld and the two getting a green signal – WADA is furious, ICC shrugs but then asks PCB to reconsider, PCB shrugs back!

The world cup squad looks all rosy now but the team’s performance in South Africa raises question marks. And just when things were getting miserable, Afridi adds more misery by poking his bat at a jeering fan and getting a suspension for himself!

‘Perfectly fit’ Akhtar and Asif are rushed to England for a quick check-up and are declared unfit instantly!! Shortly followed by an unfit Abdur Razzaq! So the team went to the Caribbean with a team that was unbalanced in all ways and featuring an out-of-form Inzi, Kamran Akmal and Younus Khan, recently recalled Imran Nazir and Azhar Mahmood and absolutely no Afridi, Abdur Razzaq, Akhtar or Asif. As predicted, the ‘hot-favorites’ got a really hot licking at the hands of West Indies and associate member Ireland!!! The team had the dignity to defeat Zimbabwe though – thanks to the knock by Nazir with small contributions from Inzi and Afridi (re-appearing after his suspension).

And if matters had not gotten worse enough, the coach gets mysteriously murdered after the defeat of Pakistan by Ireland. Initial reports said his death was caused by the tragic upset defeat but murder was later confirmed. Inzi decided to retire from ODI’s within the next few hours. This was followed later by the resignation of Nasim Ashraf and then his selection committee headed by Wasim Bari.

The team is currently devising a plan to reach home safely and probably that’s why they are coming in parts – five till the recent news. First to come was Mohammad Yousuf. The media personnel waited for him for hours but the smart chap dodged the paparazzi by leaving Jinnah International using the internal departure lounge instead of the international arrivals!! The poor media guys managed to get a glimpse of him driving his car away!

Younus Khan was the next to him. Not as lucky as Mohammad Yousuf, he was completely surrounded by media personnel and an angry crowd – who thankfully didn’t turn to an angry mob that vandalizes everything that’s around them! The tight-lipped vice captain did not give any statement and was quickly rushed to the safety of his car by his two brothers acting as his bodyguards!! The rest of the team is expected to come in three more stages now en route Dubai.

Is this the end of it all? Is this the end of the Darrell Hair curse? Who know! Only time will tell. We still have the case of Shoaib and Asif impending – the WADA guys have threatened to take the case to court!